Random "Tweets" im too lazy to put on Twitter vol.1

"My pancreas itches."
"my brother: 'what's a pancreas?' me: 'i don't know but mine itches.'"
"oh yeah? well yomomma durrrrrrr"
"Wow it's kinda scary to think that the world's going to eventually become like 1984... only 38 years later. according to Trent Reznor that is."
"'what if you could walk through walls?' asks my friend in History. 'i would walk out of the room.' I reply."

when the heck will Tool go on another tour?

fuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkk... listening to Tool for hours on end. why is Maynard staying in fuckin Arizona with Puscifer? dont get me wrong, Puscifer rules as well, but it's just not the same as Tool. He really should get back to them and record another album. then go on tour. and stop in Boston. seriously. Ever since I bought AEnima i've been dying to go to a Tool show, but Maynard decided to take like 5 years off. I'm tired of songs about vaginas and sex and momma sed... time for more tool!

random thought 8/21/09

I was watching TV with a lot of annoying stupid ads in it yesterday, And i had a random thought-

Anytime an ad:

• says "free gift" or "free money" (shouldn't you NOT have to pay for a gift or money anyway?)
• says you get a "$100 value free plus s+h" (BULL)
• or mentions any way to make lots of money at home (with the fine print at the bottom saying your experience will vary)
• says "call in the next ten minutes" (even though the ad probably will air sometime in the next 10 mins anyway.. :P)
• calls itself an "infomercial" when it's still trying to sell you something
• or just has a really sketchy looking guy showing you the product (ex: shamwow guy)...

it makes me want to not only change the channel and never see the ad again, but i want to find and flame the guy representing the product so people never have to see their stupid ads again.

Like last night, I was watching a James Bond movie from the '80s (really cheesy music lol), and right in the middle of it up pops this ad with some really sketchy looking balding guy in a suit holding a book called "FREE MONEY".. named Kevin Trudeau... he was talking about how to basically con government programs into giving you money by fake "qualifying" to get money from these programs and saying you could make $20,000 by doing it... not only does that sound criminal to me, but it just won't happen. It just won't. And then he started talking about how if you order his book, which wasn't sold in book stores (I WONDER WHY?), he'll give you his other book and an "easy $5k" panphlet, a "$50 value", free... ugh, I always hate when they boast that they're giving you a big value for free, 'cuz it just means that they're making way too much money off the main product anyway because how they could possibly give you that much and claim that they don't make profits elsewhere is beyond me.. And I just wanted to get back to the Bond movie with the cheesy '80s music..

I personally think that the ShamWow guy and this Kevin Trudeau guy should be sent to some place where the general public will never have to listen to them again... Or at least only advertise in places where people will actually buy their products. Maybe they should only advertise to houses where people, over 20, who have an IQ of less than 70 live.. Or just in the Midwest or Deep South.

I'm tired of seeing these people, anyway. Can I have an amen, please?

-Paul