Huh...

I just realized this is my "random thought of the day" but I update at best every two days...


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Smoking

You know, I was wondering- who the hell came up with smoking tobacco? Like, people tried eating it before anything else... Some moron must have been like, "hey, this shit tastes terrible... What else can I do with it? Oh! I know! I'll roll it up in some fucking paper, burn it, and inhale whatever cones out!" what a brilliant fucking idea... And then he goes off, tells everyone, and promptly drops dead from Black Lung.

Psycho bus drivers

I don't know about your experiences, but in mine bus drivers are some crazy motherfuckers. Most of them, like New York cab drivers, are from some weird Eastern European country, just got here like 3 days ago, and drive totally insane. You know, about twice the speed limit, thinking yellow means "accelerate!", and thinking the name "speed bump" means "speed up in front of it to bump your bus 5 feet in the air". And if you say anything, they say something like "OK. You driver now." and pull over or some other crazy shit. They scare the shit out of me. Any clue yet that I'm writing this on a bus?

I forgot quite how scary my old physics teacher is. But I also have figured out how to get him to believe whatever I say as long as he doesn't have direct evidence of whatever I was doing... Just look him in the eye with a straight face and call him "sir". Works every time, and works with just about everyone. The most useful lesson I have learned in high school would definitely be how to lie at someone's face with little to no tell. Now I just need to learn to play poker.

Woo can now post silly shit remotely!

Thanks to the belowmentioned app, i can now write stupid shit that pops into my head wherever I feel like it! Hooray for American laziness!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

funny shit

just thought about those TV ads that bug me so much (see first post). They're always like, right at the end, "and we'll give you this, a $50.00 value, FREE (plus $49.99 S&H). that last bit is so funny, 'cuz more times than not, the S&H is MORE than the actual product itself. like that "twin draft guard" thing- the product itself is $10.00, but the shipping is 15 fucking dollars! i know, right? what kind of fucking idiot thought that up? "hey, why don't we make a product's shipping cost more than it? that'll bring in customers for sure!" yeah right! only in America are people that fucking clueless.
Can I have an amen?
-Paul

so fuckin tired

ugh why don't i just go home and sleep? i got to bed @ 2:30 last nite and woke up at 5:30... i've almost dozed off three times doing homework in the library. fuck, why do i even need to wake up at 6:00? why can't we just have pneumatic* fuckin' tubes like in Futurama that we just jump into and launch us straight to school/work/whatever the fuck you go to. not my business. i think i'm about to fall asleep right nbvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvggfjndfgj just did. fuck this, i'm going home.

*pneumatic: if you don't know what it means, fucking look it up. you're two clicks away from a fucking dictionary. i'm not going to tell you what it means, dipshit.