PS random thoughts

Huh...

2010-03-12T09:01:00.001-08:00

I just realized this is my "random thought of the day" but I update at best every two days...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Smoking

2010-01-26T16:59:00.000-08:00

You know, I was wondering- who the hell came up with smoking tobacco? Like, people tried eating it before anything else... Some moron must have been like, "hey, this shit tastes terrible... What else can I do with it? Oh! I know! I'll roll it up in some fucking paper, burn it, and inhale whatever cones out!" what a brilliant fucking idea... And then he goes off, tells everyone, and promptly drops dead from Black Lung.

Psycho bus drivers

2010-01-14T12:16:00.000-08:00

I don't know about your experiences, but in mine bus drivers are some crazy motherfuckers. Most of them, like New York cab drivers, are from some weird Eastern European country, just got here like 3 days ago, and drive totally insane. You know, about twice the speed limit, thinking yellow means "accelerate!", and thinking the name "speed bump" means "speed up in front of it to bump your bus 5 feet in the air". And if you say anything, they say something like "OK. You driver now." and pull over or some other crazy shit. They scare the shit out of me. Any clue yet that I'm writing this on a bus?

2010-01-13T04:08:00.000-08:00

I forgot quite how scary my old physics teacher is. But I also have figured out how to get him to believe whatever I say as long as he doesn't have direct evidence of whatever I was doing... Just look him in the eye with a straight face and call him "sir". Works every time, and works with just about everyone. The most useful lesson I have learned in high school would definitely be how to lie at someone's face with little to no tell. Now I just need to learn to play poker.

Woo can now post silly shit remotely!

2010-01-11T18:24:00.001-08:00

Thanks to the belowmentioned app, i can now write stupid shit that pops into my head wherever I feel like it! Hooray for American laziness!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

funny shit

2010-01-11T11:41:00.000-08:00

just thought about those TV ads that bug me so much (see first post). They're always like, right at the end, "and we'll give you this, a $50.00 value, FREE (plus $49.99 S&H). that last bit is so funny, 'cuz more times than not, the S&H is MORE than the actual product itself. like that "twin draft guard" thing- the product itself is $10.00, but the shipping is 15 fucking dollars! i know, right? what kind of fucking idiot thought that up? "hey, why don't we make a product's shipping cost more than it? that'll bring in customers for sure!" yeah right! only in America are people that fucking clueless.
Can I have an amen?
-Paul

so fuckin tired

2010-01-11T11:30:00.001-08:00

ugh why don't i just go home and sleep? i got to bed @ 2:30 last nite and woke up at 5:30... i've almost dozed off three times doing homework in the library. fuck, why do i even need to wake up at 6:00? why can't we just have pneumatic* fuckin' tubes like in Futurama that we just jump into and launch us straight to school/work/whatever the fuck you go to. not my business. i think i'm about to fall asleep right nbvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvggfjndfgj just did. fuck this, i'm going home.

*pneumatic: if you don't know what it means, fucking look it up. you're two clicks away from a fucking dictionary. i'm not going to tell you what it means, dipshit.

Random "Tweets" im too lazy to put on Twitter vol.1

2009-11-20T06:56:00.000-08:00

"My pancreas itches."
"my brother: 'what's a pancreas?' me: 'i don't know but mine itches.'"
"oh yeah? well yomomma durrrrrrr"
"Wow it's kinda scary to think that the world's going to eventually become like 1984... only 38 years later. according to Trent Reznor that is."
"'what if you could walk through walls?' asks my friend in History. 'i would walk out of the room.' I reply."

when the heck will Tool go on another tour?

2009-11-20T06:50:00.000-08:00

fuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkk... listening to Tool for hours on end. why is Maynard staying in fuckin Arizona with Puscifer? dont get me wrong, Puscifer rules as well, but it's just not the same as Tool. He really should get back to them and record another album. then go on tour. and stop in Boston. seriously. Ever since I bought AEnima i've been dying to go to a Tool show, but Maynard decided to take like 5 years off. I'm tired of songs about vaginas and sex and momma sed... time for more tool!

random thought 8/21/09

2009-08-21T07:17:00.000-07:00

I was watching TV with a lot of annoying stupid ads in it yesterday, And i had a random thought-

Anytime an ad:

says "free gift" or "free money" (shouldn't you NOT have to pay for a gift or money anyway?)
says you get a "$100 value free plus s+h" (BULL)
or mentions any way to make lots of money at home (with the fine print at the bottom saying your experience will vary)
says "call in the next ten minutes" (even though the ad probably will air sometime in the next 10 mins anyway.. :P)
calls itself an "infomercial" when it's still trying to sell you something
or just has a really sketchy looking guy showing you the product (ex: shamwow guy)...

it makes me want to not only change the channel and never see the ad again, but i want to find and flame the guy representing the product so people never have to see their stupid ads again.

Like last night, I was watching a James Bond movie from the '80s (really cheesy music lol), and right in the middle of it up pops this ad with some really sketchy looking balding guy in a suit holding a book called "FREE MONEY".. named Kevin Trudeau... he was talking about how to basically con government programs into giving you money by fake "qualifying" to get money from these programs and saying you could make $20,000 by doing it... not only does that sound criminal to me, but it just won't happen. It just won't. And then he started talking about how if you order his book, which wasn't sold in book stores (I WONDER WHY?), he'll give you his other book and an "easy $5k" panphlet, a "$50 value", free... ugh, I always hate when they boast that they're giving you a big value for free, 'cuz it just means that they're making way too much money off the main product anyway because how they could possibly give you that much and claim that they don't make profits elsewhere is beyond me.. And I just wanted to get back to the Bond movie with the cheesy '80s music..

I personally think that the ShamWow guy and this Kevin Trudeau guy should be sent to some place where the general public will never have to listen to them again... Or at least only advertise in places where people will actually buy their products. Maybe they should only advertise to houses where people, over 20, who have an IQ of less than 70 live.. Or just in the Midwest or Deep South.

I'm tired of seeing these people, anyway. Can I have an amen, please?

-Paul